This puts a lot of pressure on you to preform, and if you don’t
live up to your own expectations you’ll probably feel horrible and beat
yourself up. This simplest way to look at curing approaching anxiety is to be committed
to the process and not the product. Let me repeat that again for you…
Be committed to the PROCESS and not the PRODUCT.
You don’t have “approach anxiety” when you walk into a store to
pick up a soda. You don’t think to yourself “oh how I hope this soda will let
me buy it.” No, you walk into the store, you know what you want, and you go
after it.
The same applies to getting over your anxiety. When you approach a
girl you need to take the focus off getting results from a girl and put the focus
on your getting better at approach.
You’re not going to overcome your approach anxiety until you either
approach a lot. You can build momentum in one day but that usually won’t carry
over to the next day or the next week.
Approaching is like a muscle. You need to do it often to keep the
approach muscle “fit” aka reduce the anxiety you have around approaching.
The best way I have found to do this is through the Janka Method.
When I started using the Janka Method I was really nervous, and
there’s really no other way to go around beating your approach anxiety but
through volume as Paul talks about in the book.
What I found to be really great when I approached girls everyday
was I created a level of indifference that carried over to my interactions with
the girls I approached. Girls pick this up and it creates a very high level of
attraction because you radiate confidence that girls love. And, they also see how much you really don’t care if you don't get her number (being non-needy), which shows you’re a high value
alpha male.
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